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June 22, 2012 / Gul Malani

Child’s Capabilities & Competition

Parents are quite often driven to achieve their goals and desires through their children! Such children are kept very busy doing what the parents had wanted to do, but were unable to do, due to some reason or the other!

Sensitive parents, who have discovered themselves, will keep their own desires aside and understand the capabilities and interests of the child and help him/her develop in those areas. Interest and passion of the child are great motivators for the child’s activities.

There should be no demands on the child to be competitive like being on top of the class or the best sportsman etc. Every child cannot be the first and the best! Fortunately, our world is big enough to give space to all of us and not only to the first and the best!

When the second child is born, parents have to be extremely careful as the newborn generally gets all the attention and cuddling from the parents. The first born has to compete to get the attention and this can build in a sense of competition as well as jealousy. Parents will have to be aware of both the children’s needs and give each child the required time and attention on a daily basis!

It may seem strange, but parents and children are also in competition with each other as to who is smarter, better, faster, more popular etc. Generally father and the boys compete and mother and the girls compete with each other. Unfortunately, competition is built into each one of us, but it is up to us parents to understand this and put a stop to this unhealthy competition, which only strains relationships and retains tension at home!

Instead of competition, parents should play role models and inculcate co-operation so that the child learns team work, networking and other relevant skills to play and work in the bigger social environment of family, teams, organisations etc.

Good parents are like gardeners who water, change the soil, add fertiliser, keep the pests away, etc. to help the plant bloom to its own fullest capabilities. But they will not force the Rose plant to compete with a Tulip plant and bloom into a Tulip! Each one of us and our children have our very own virtues and capabilities which should be appreciated by us parents!

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