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March 18, 2014 / Gul Malani

Wake up Alarm

ID-10072773-1 Little boy covering his face 180314Parents who have heavy professional or social commitments generally do not have the time and patience required for bringing up children well! Additionally, most of us parents really have not discovered our own selves and so we are continuously being tossed on the waves of this ocean called life. Most of the spare time we have is spent trying to save our own skins by staying afloat in this turbulent worldly ocean.

All this adds to the woes of bringing up children well!

How do we know if we are not doing a good job? Our wake up alarm could be any of the following:

-frequent daily crying of our child

-our child is misbehaving frequently

-the child is throwing tantrums at times

First and foremost is that both parents have to actually carve out adequate and exclusive time for the child on a daily basis. We may have to forego or postpone some of our professional and social goals. Secondly, we have to bring in more Awareness and Acceptance in our lives. A good starting point for this could be to read up our blog http://www.livelifefully.in or read publications by authors like Eckhart Tolle, Osho, J. Krishnamurthi, Thich Nhat Hanh, Deepak Chopra and many others.

Crying, misbehaving, tantrums are ways of the child to express that it is not being understood well by its parents. These are effects and not the cause. Telling the child not to cry, or misbehave is not the way out of this. Parents need to get to the root of all this by finding out the cause for such behaviour or outbursts.

Once we parents are sensitised to the child, then automatically the child is being brought up well. Then our up bringing does no damage to the psyche of the child. Unfortunately, poor up bringing results in creation of a pain body in the psyche of the child which continues to be a raw wound even in the adult part of the child’s life. The moment anything is said or done which touches this wound, the child breaks down!

Parents have to be aware that they are not contributing in building this pain body. Neither are they helping build fear, anxiety and worry in the psyche of the child! Only then, we can sit back and relax as our child maneuvers his/her way through his/her life. Otherwise our child may break down even in adult life and need our help and support often to navigate his/her life!

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