Special attention has to be given to the environment into which we are planning to bring our child!
It goes without saying that it should be clean and hygienic, well organized and managed at the physical level.
At the psychological level, there should be good understanding and communication between the parents. Acceptance of each other as we are at present, love and respect for each other are prerequisites for the healthy upbringing of the new born child. Our home should be a peaceful place, full of love and caring which nurtures good growth of a child!
There is a saying for the fathers to be; ‘The best thing you can do for the child is to love its mother!’ Further, the reverse is also necessary, that the Mother loves the Father!
If this is not the case, assuming that this will happen after the birth of the child may be very risky. The demands of the new born baby’s needs, may leave the parents with very little emotional and physical energy to improve any other situation including their own relationship! It is best to delay having the child, if that is possible.
Find the time for discovering one’s own self first. Only when we understand our own self, we will be able to understand others including our Spouses! It may sound strange, but one can discover one’s own self instantaneously by becoming aware and remaining as often as we can in the present moment! More details can be accessed from the blog http://www.livelifefully.in!
What gives lifelong strength and empowerment to our children is when their parents give them lifelong unconditional Love, Respect and Understanding! Unconditional love and respect is when we do not expect anything in return from the child and we accept him/her as he/she is now and not sometime in the future when he/she has achieved something that we parents want! This can happen only when we parents are totally conscious and in peace with our own selves!
But is this the case in most of the families? The answer is a definite No! What is the way out then?
Ideally, all persons responsible for bringing up children should have discovered who they really are. This is the subject matter of the blog www.livelifefully.in ! Only when we have discovered ourselves, learnt to live fully in the present moment, a state of full Awareness, we can give unconditional Love, Respect and Understanding to others including our children. If you visit this blog, you will notice that such an important but simple subject is covered in a mere 20 plus posts! One can discover one’s own self instantaneously. All one has to do is to become aware of the present moment when our Ego (pseudo I) disappears and our pure unattached Intellect appears! At the worst, it will take less than 30 days if we devote one day to each post for reading, understanding, experiencing the knowledge contained in that post and discovering the truth ourselves!
Our children need us and are longing to get their parents to love, respect, understand and discuss with them and help them bloom into beautiful and capable adults. So, we parents need to discover ourselves at the earliest!
The key word is ‘respect’ – for my child, for myself, and for the unlimited possibilities of what can happen when two people of good will put their heads together. -Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
What’s important for the child is that he continues to see himself as part of the solution rather than part of the problem – Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
The most beautiful gift that we ever get is a child. The marvel is that this is the only gift that comes with our lifetime warranty; it generally is with us or near us for our full lifetime!
The sparkle in the child’s eyes, the glow of its body, the activity and playfulness, the love for life, the curiosity to learn, the joy and happiness that is packed within, charms almost everyone including the proud parents!
With the passage of time, the child grows up! But the sparkle and glow do a slow disappearing act; joy and happiness get replaced by fear, anxiety, worry, tension and anger. Curiosity and activity turn to lack of interest in life and lethargy!
What happened during the growing up years? What went wrong with the upbringing?
This needs deliberations by all of us, to be parents, those that are already parents and also those who have already finished parenting!
Conventional wisdom and commonsense makes us use similar techniques that our parents used in bringing us up. This leaves a lot to be desired for the benefit of our children.
Whereas, what is required is Conscious Awareness, Insight, Understanding and Acceptance while bringing up children. This will make a world of a difference to the quality of the lives of our children as well as to their strengths and capabilities!
Dr. Shefali Tsabary says that families have a tendency to treat children as possessions of their parents. With all focus on grades, achievement and flashy signs of wealth, we are teaching them to depend on external indicators of success as markers of their identity – beauty, status, wealth and career. When these markers fail, our children feel as if they have become non-existent.
Parents have to become aware of this unconscious and damaging way of bringing up children and arise to a better way soonest! The Conscious way of bringing up children is the subject matter of this Blog!
The ability to see–really see–our children separate from who we are is our greatest gift to them – Shefali Tsabary PhD
Every child is born complete. We, parents, relatives, teachers, friends and the society help the child to build incompleteness within it’s Intellect. This incompleteness is the Ego! If the child is fortunate, while growing up as a youngster or as an adult, he/she can develop a deep understanding of life by experiencing it fully in the present moments. Then the young adult can have capabilities to transcend it’s Ego and be complete once again, and live life in all it’s fullness – The Totality
At birth almost every child is super finely tuned with our Universe, as it is a manifestation of Omnipresent and Omnipotent Superconsciousness. Good, Aware and Conscious parenting is to retain this super fine tuning of the child. This can easily be done by retaining the unlimitedness in the Subconscious of the child. The only limitedness we have to embed in the child’s Intellect is for the psychological and physical safety of the child. Also, the Conscious Mind (Ego) that develops from parental and other programming, self learning and experience has to remain mostly in the present moments and not spend much of it’s time either in the past or the future. Therefore programmed goals have to be short term and suited for the child’s present talent and capabilities for quick and easy achievement. –The Totality 070118
At birth every child’s cell’s Intellect is filled with Superconsciousness. As it is exposed to environmental situations like parental a programming and other’s programming the Superconsciousness starts to be replaced by the Self centered EGO, which is the only cause for our misery, anxiety, unhappiness and, in many cases, poor health too. Conscious and evolved parenting can reduce the impact of the Ego on the child’s life and allow the child to live an enriched, healthy and a happy life. – The Totality 120118
Every child is delivered to every mother as a bundle of Divinity. Divinity emanates from every child’s body, eyes, smile, touch, actions, etc.. Regretfully, parents , teachers, peers and others, unknowingly and unconsciously, help the child to displace the Divinity within, with an individualised personality or Ego, which then brings in unhappiness, stress and misery in the child’s future life. – The Totality 110718
This is a beautiful world and we are all lucky to have a chance to live in this world. Perhaps, this is the only chance for those who do not believe in re-incarnation!
So, it is necessary that we have the capacity to enjoy this life fully! All of us are born with the capability to enjoy life but we tend to lose this capability as we grow older. Quite often we learn the opposite of what should be learnt and then life becomes a burden !
Parenting plays a very important role in our health, happiness, development and in our achievements. Unfortunately most parents are neither conscious, qualified nor equipped adequately to become parents. So, generally their parenting follow the procedures similar to the hierarchical parenting they received from their parents with slight modifications and improvements!
Unfortunately, most of the children including children of yesteryears like us have been and are victims of loving but unintelligent and unconscious parenting and as well as poor interaction with un-evolved relatives, teachers, peers and others. Children have been and are being unintentionally programmed to lose their natural ability to live out their Spirit and live in the present moment. This has been and is being replaced with living in fear, anxiety and worry of the future or guilt, regret and anger about the past!
Being aware, that a lot is going wrong in bringing up most of our children, has been the motivation for us to write this Blog. Are we, parents, helping our child to retain the bright sparkles in their eyes by allowing them to enjoy living at his/her terms and becoming independent as soon as possible; are we helping him/her to continue loving his/her own self and have a good self esteem; are we helping him/her to use his Intellect; are we helping him/her to understand and accept his/her emotions; are we being a good role model of how to live a successful, happy and contented life?
Further, a great love and respect for the children and hoping to have them retain their childlike qualities, like innocence and being happy as well as to develop their inborn intelligence throughout their lives has also driven us into this activity of writing and sharing.
Relevant excerpts from the book ‘The Biology of Belief’ of Bruce H. Lipton Ph.D.
- The latest genetic research suggesting that parents should cultivate that twinkle in the months before they conceive a child. That growth promoting awareness and intention can produce a smarter, healthier, and happier child. * 140817
- Research suggests that what is going on in the lives of the parents during the process of genomic imprinting has a profound influence on the mind and body of the child. * 140817
- Verny writes “It makes a difference whether we are conceived in love, haste, or hate and whether a mother wants to be pregnant…parents do better when they live in a calm and stable environment free of addictions and supported by family and friends.” * 140817
- Verny writes ” Awake or asleep, the studies show, they (unborn children) are constantly tuned in to their mother’s every action, thought, and feeling. From the moment of conception, the experience in the womb shapes the brain and lays the groundwork for personality, emotional temperament, and the power of higher thought.” * 140817
- What the father does profoundly affects the mother, which in turn affects the developing child (unborn baby). * 140817
- But the developing child receives far more than nutrients from the mother’s blood. Along with nutrients, the foetus absorbs excess glucose if the mother is diabetic and excess cortisol and other fight or flight hormones if the mother is chronically stressed. * 140817
- Bernie Devlin, a professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pittsburg School of Medicine…found that conditions during pre-natal development significantly impact IQ. He reveals that up to fifty-one percent of a child’s potential intelligence is controlled by environmental factors. * 140817
- Parents now have a choice. They can carefully reprogram their limiting beliefs about life before they bring a child into their world. * 160817
- Genes are shaped, guided, and tailored by environmental learning experiences. * 160817
- Indeed, genes are important–but their importance is only realised through the influence of conscious parenting and the richness of opportunities provided by the environment. * 160817
- Your children’s genes reflect only their potential, not their destiny. It is up to you to provide the environment that allows them to develop to their highest potential. * 160817
- Let go of unfounded fears and take care not to implant unnecessary fears and limiting beliefs in your children’s subconscious minds. Most of all, do not accept the fatalistic message of genetic determinism. You can help your children reach their potential and you can change your personal life. You are not “stuck” with your genes. * 160817
- Conscious parents and seers like Rumi knew that for human babies and adults the best growth promoter is love.* 160817
Like in any en-devour, your comments and suggestions posted on this site will help improve this Blog! Please feel free to post your comments and suggestions!
It appears that bringing up a child has never been to retain the child’s inherent happiness and completeness. Neither it has been to let the child bloom in it’s own unique way in it’s own time schedule! Instead, it is solely one of ensuring that the child is meeting the high expectations of the parents and our society! – The Totality
It occurred to me that more than any fixed tools, parents needed training. And it begins with completely unlearning the conventional way of parenting we’ve all been conditioned to over the years. – Dr. Atul Abhyankar
Bringing up Children 